Redeem this text for a blowjob
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
