hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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