I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
