I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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