Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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