Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
