And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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