first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
