Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize