am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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