So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
