Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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