Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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