he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
