You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
