Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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