haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
