By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Randomize
