I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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