stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
