I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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