oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
3pm strippers are depressing
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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