I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
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