On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
