It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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