I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Randomize
