"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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