respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize
