i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize