More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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