best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
