Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize