Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
