I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
