We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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