did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
