How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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