I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
This is the high leading the old right now
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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