I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
