Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
