Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
