you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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