I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
