The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
