She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
