i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize