"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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