I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Randomize
