Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
