If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
