If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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