Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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