the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
