he looks like a really good dad on facebook
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
