Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
We need to get me chipped asap
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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