It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize
