Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He? As in you personified your dick?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
