Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Less talking, more tequila
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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